Nina Paley’s wonderfully visualized movie “Sita Sings the Blues” brings home the deep rooted bias most women have against Sita. “Sita Sings” is a beautiful movie. The illustrations are stunning, and the music! Oh the music is to die for. And yet, the movie, like most other medias, undersells Sita. It depicts Sita as a lovelorn, naïve, clingy person who cannot stand up for herself and revels in the injustices Ram heaps on her. Ram is the jerk, Sita the feminine pushover.
The movie frustrated me (for those interested, you can watch the entire movie on youtube and the quality is excellent) because I expected more understanding from an artist of Paley’s caliber. I have always thought of Sita as a staunch feminist, one who has been misinterpreted and misrepresented for so many generations we can no longer see her for the independent woman she was.
From what is popularly known about Sita, Sita is learned, rich, physically strong – she could lift the shiva-dhanush with her left hand, beloved of her parents – yes, this too is important, too many women find independence difficult because their parents did not love them as much as they loved their sons. She marries a valiant and powerful prince, one who must prove his worth before he can be wedded to her, and she is loyal and loving towards the man she marries. When her husband leaves for the forest she follows him as an equal, capable of handling the challenges her husband would face during exile. Through it all, she remains a trusting person. She trusts her husband, she trusts the forest around her, harsh as it might have been, she trusts the vows of marriage and the bonds of love. She trusts, and she is betrayed. She is abducted by Ravana and held captive, but the abduction is not a betrayal, it is an incident that takes place and during the period of captivity she continues to trust Ram and probably interprets the abduction as one of the many challenges she and her partner were facing together. Upon rescue, she does not demand an agni pariksha of Ram. We know that during Sita’s absence Ram was pursued by other women, Supranakha for one, but Sita does not doubt or question Ram’s fidelity. She does not wonder what Ram had been up to while she was away. She does not ask him to prove his purity. What she does instead is prove her own.
I see Sita enter the fires of the agni pariksha as a different person, and emerge from it differently, and I see Ram’s demand for the agni pariksha as the strongest betrayal she faces.
Everything after the agni pariksha is shoddy and ugly. Sita is more and more alone in the world thereafter. After the washerman incident, Ram asks her to leave the palace. Laxman takes Sita to the jungles and does not return to look into her affairs again. The supremely loyal and faithful Hanuman is no longer in the picture. She is by herself, at the mercy of the elements and the strangers she meets there, and she is pregnant. When she goes into her exile her partner does not follow. Her challenges are hers alone, and she deals with them masterfully. She never returns to the palace again. She gives birth to twins and raises the boys single handedly, doing such an excellent job as a single mother that her sons become capable of winning wars and ruling kingdoms. It’s marvelous to think of all she must have had within her, her skills, her knowledge, her self-esteem, her fierceness, all the things concerning her that are never talked about.
When Ram, harrowed by guilt, loneliness, and a sense of injustice asks Sita to forgive and to return, Sita is not willing to forget. She will not return to Ram. She would rather die, and Sita’s final act is terrifying in its dignity. I wonder sometimes what she must have done, how she killed herself. It seems like she threw herself into a gorge, or off a cliff, into mother-earth. But perhaps, she walked back into the thick forest and never emerged. Perhaps she simply said no. Perhaps she said to her sons, choose, and they chose and she left. She is one of those proud people who are heart wrenching in their solitude.
I love her deeply, but I don’t want to worship her. Not because she is not worth the worship but because the centuries have distorted her image so savagely, made her so weak, simplified her to an equation that always adds up to Ram. The centuries have used Sita to weaken women in general and provide license to men. Sita and Ram are the first couples to have gotten a divorce and it is because Sita did not grovel to return to her marriage that we have hammered her down so systematically. What a contrast Sita is to Sati, who dies too, but to protect her husband’s honor. Sati is hailed as a woman of immense courage and love, one who made such an impact women were forced to burn on their husband’s pyre. Then there is Sita, who dies to protect her own, but we don’t discuss that, do we?
Our brilliant and very exciting title, The Bad Boy’s Guide to the Good Indian Girl, by Smriti Ravindra and Annie Zaidi has been getting some splendid reviews. This doesn’t happen too often with our titles, most publications are biased and believe our titles are too niche, a false accusation, you’ll realise when you go through our catalogues.
But its true, The Bad Boy’s Guide to the Good Indian Girl, is a one-of-a-kind title. It’s revolutionary because our fantastic authors have managed to fictionalise or rather contextualise non-fiction accounts by men and women they’ve interviewed and to put across their narratives in quirky, subversive ways.
If you haven’t yet read the book, and you need a little nudge, do check out these reviews. If you have read the book and have your own opinion about it, we’d love to hear from you. Feel free to send in a comment, we’ll be happy to feature it on the blog.
The Midday Review is poignantly titled, “Desperately Seeking Savitri”
Amrita Bose writes:
Right from the book’s onset, the authors claim that every generation has had their share of GIGs (Good Indian Girls, abbreviated throughout the book). While the story called Buzz is a fun take on the literal ‘buzz’ that is created, when a girl asks her male classmate the way to the toilet in his house at a party — Panty Lines outlines the relationship a girl shares with her panties, including the association of shame and forbidden desires attached to it. Boobs, is an astute observation about how peers can make one feel worthless and ashamed about one’s body.
The writing style is colloquial and therefore easy to identify with. The narratives could be from anywhere in India, though Annie is keen that readers not adopt a closed approach to their origins. “I resent blinkered phrases like ‘stories from small-town India’ or ‘Gen Next’. I have met conservative women even in Mumbai. For instance, as a cub reporter, I was once scolded by a woman for asking men, instead of women, for directions when I was lost.”
Paromita Vohra, the edgy writer and documentary film-maker reviewed the book for Tehelka in a piece called The Nervy Ones
The book’s memoir-like writing is gleaming filigree, delicately detailing the tiny shifts of implication girls gauge to see how far they can go, how much more they can want — unlike the Schneider and Fein type girl, their wanting is huge. It lays out the web of reputation, violence and confusion, the extreme fear of being alone that leads to lives of both depression and defeat as well as chance-taking, effrontery, bold fun lies and canny manipulations. These stories, with few morals, absorb you, make you laugh, and quiet you — especially those of the Singh sisters, who call boys from a landline hidden in the cupboard and who end up marrying exactly the boys they want, through deft moves, whereby the defeated patriarch PP Singh doesn’t even know he’s been bested.
Just Femme, an online women’s magazine has another positive review by Padmalatha Ravi, called “Being a Good Indian Girl”
Annie Zaidi and Smriti Ravindra’s book The Bad Boy’s Guide to Good Indian Girl tells me that this is one of the qualities of a GIG (good Indian girl) and who is the Bad Indian Girl (BIG). They dissect this and many other facets of being a GIG and unearth the complexities of living in a society that is modern and traditional at the same time. This complex phenomenon unfolds through stories of many women, interwoven, laying bare the hard work that goes into being a GIG. It is funny. It is enlightening. It is non-judgmental. And it is upsetting in many, many ways.
And finally (at least for the moment), the review in The Hindu who covered the launch of the book in Bangalore. Read “And the Good Girl Is” for more. Meanwhile, an excerpt:
The book has been co-authored by Annie and Smriti Ravindra and the whole book is an attempt to locate this creature known popularly as the ‘good Indian girl’ says Zaidi, “The book is an attempt to figure it out – we talked to women in the sub-continent and wrote stories on their stories and it culminated in this book.
If you can’t take our word for it, you can go by the reviews, and with the click of a button and for just Rs 207 (Rs 88 discount), you can own your very own copy of The Bad Boy’s Guide to the Good Indian Girl through Flipkart.
A few days ago, Zubaan had run a twitter contest, inviting tweets with the hashtag ‘goodindiangirl’. Funny, quirky, honest, random. There were dozens of responses and the ones that appealed most to us won free copies of the book and t-shirts. There were others that we liked just as much, but could not agree on. Here is a list of tweets. The ones we can still find on our TLs anyway.
If there are more you know of, or something you’d like to add to the list, go ahead and do it. The comments space beckons.
Aneela Z Babar: Would a #goodindiangirl be tweeting from the bathroom?Hiding from her toddler? No? Than probably I’m stuck being a #BadPakistaniWoman
Manisha Lakhe: hai hai! #goodindiangirl kisi ko tag kaise karegi? tag wale khel mein tap karna hota hai, woh kisi ko chuegi kaise?
TweetTiger: A #goodindiangirl always lets her husband come first. #doubleentendre
Blaftness: A #goodindiangirl drives the moped. http://twitpic.com/5ulff2
Telugutalli: Acting like Sita in her obedience but never like her in her defiance #goodindiangirl
Does not under any circumstances show she can drive or do maths faster than her man #goodindiangirl
Polgrim: Dear @ZubaanBooks, the #goodindiangirl lives in my mother’s imagination.
Zigzackly: when a #goodindiangirl grows up, she becomes a #badindianmotherinlaw
Flyinghigh82: “A Good Indian Girl is the one who doesn’t get caught doing the wrong things” #goodindiangirl
“A good Indian girl is one who can dress up traditionally and fetch multi-million dollar deals with ease” #goodindiangirl
Longsurnamegolt: A #goodindiangirl may go stale if not kept fresh and ziplocked.
Sacredinsanity: A #GoodIndianGirl is the woman in our ads, who conquers the world. After using fair and Lovely.
Mountainelk: The #goodindiangirl likes fairytales, not fantasies
Jugni_on_acid: A #goodindiangirl is Everything I’m not.
The #goodindiangirl is a figment of my mother’s imagination.
Pragni: #goodindiangirl knows how to make aloo-gobi!
#goodindiangirl is who does not wear a short skirt in front of to-be in-laws!!
PunditComment: a #goodindiangirl knows how to pack food for journeys on the Indian railway.
a #goodindiangirl is a baby machine. #nastytweet
a #goodindiangirl owns more sarees than swimsuits.
http://punditcommentator.blogspot.com/2011/07/who-is-good-indian-girl.html
Vikramjit_ S: “Chhodo Na…Kya kar rahe ho..*giggle* #goodindiangirl”
She is enveloped in loneliness. The lush greenery and the overpowering stench of death are all around her. Mrs Rukmini Bezboruah belongs to the elite class in the provincial town of Parbarpuri. She is the wife of the District Collector, lives in a spacious bungalow on a hill, she is a well -educated part-time college lecturer, she has loving in-laws…yet, she has a strong sense of being incomplete…of not being…happy.
Set in the turbulence of an insurgency and protest-ridden Assam, the book gives Rukmini a ringside view of the abduction and killings by the extremists. Her husband Siddharth is seldom home and is constantly busy with the burgeoning workload at the administrative level. Rukmini’s desire to have a child is met with a barrenness of passion in bed. A chance meeting with a tyre salesman, Manoj Mohanty, their blooming friendship and an inevitable moment of physical tenderness bring colour and joy to Rukmini’s life for the first time in almost a decade. But the horrors to which she was but a mute viewer quickly seep into her life as Siddharth and Manoj both get pulled into the web of the terrorist violence.
The author Mitra Phukan has skillfully weaved into the story’s fabric both joy and sadness to tug powerfully at the readers’ heartstrings. The plot is well crafted and the language is simple and smooth flowing. The author takes us through Rukmini’s life at a measured pace which allows the reader to fully understand her state of mind and at some level even connect to her.
The book has the power to capture you in the first five pages and the sensitivity with which the tale is told makes The Collector’s Wife quite unputdownable!
Click here to purchase this book for only Rs 263.
Set in this age of the flourishing BPO industry in the suburb of Gurgaon, Stilettos in the Boardroom weaves the stories of three women protagonists who find themselves stuck in different problematic circumstances at their workplace – BankPro. Arya is the ambitious pretty girl in her 20s, already at the top of the hierarchy with a fancy work title. Shiva is a recently married woman who found her calling to a full time job and a career which propels her to pursue her dreams. Sara is the youngest one, a feisty girl who fights her conservative parents to work in a ‘call centre’ at night.
The problem begins when the DCP (Defect Correction Process) of BankPro is outsourced to the Indian counterpart of an American company called CBS .While Arya tries to compete fiercely for the top position to be offered after the outsourcing, Shiva, in the HR department, gets involved in interviewing candidates for targeted hiring.
At the same time, Shiva finds out her husband is having an extramarital affair., Arya gets emotionally involved with her boss, and Sara rejects the groom her parents select for her.
Work, men, and life: Stilettos in the Boardroom is a 21st century Indian woman’s novel.
Click here to purchase this book for only Rs 263.
The Biranganas or the Warrior Women was the term used to designate a class of women after the 1971 war of Bangladeshi Independence. They were the symbol of honor, sacrifice and valor; the very virtues so necessary for the freedom struggle. The irony of the situation was that these women who now stood for the honor of the newborn country were themselves dishonored and violated during the war.
Enter Mukti, a young researcher who is trying to find answers to complex questions about the life of a Birangana, Mariam. What was life like for Mariam in East Pakistan, during the 1971 war and finally in Bangladesh? What were the significant phases? Why did she remain in the city even when it was clearly dangerous for women to stay back in the conflict ridden areas? And importantly, why did she not commit suicide to avoid further dishonor when she had the opportunity to do so?
The Search (Taalash) is Shaheen Akhtar ‘s new novel, translated from Bengali by Ella Dutta. The text weaves through the circumstances and desires of women and the inevitable clash of the two in Mariam’s life. She is haunted by her personal demons of dreams unfulfilled and also fights a constant battle to find herself rehabilitated in proper society. Her experiences of violence and rape almost fade in comparison to her grief at being abandoned by the men in her life; Jashimul Haque, Abed Jahangir, Momtaj, Debashish and her grief pales in comparison with her desire to live, get married and have a child to raise.
The book alternates dexterously between dispassionate and emotional passages displaying hurt, pain, anger, jealousy, apathy and most importantly, helplessness. There is an undercurrent flowing through the novel about the clash of the personal sphere with the public one and the fact that a woman’s personal space is also highly political (in terms of power relations) because of the way a woman’s body is viewed as a possession by the men, especially in times of war; to emphasize victory/superiority over the enemy side by violating their ‘honor’. If this idea is understood, then is it not true that the Biranganas did pay for the freedom of Bangladesh (however unwillingly, helplessly) with much more than political ideologies and blood.
Click here to purchase this book on FlipKart for just Rs 300
It’s the memoir of a woman who has seen all of life’s pains and struggles at the tender age of fourteen after being hurriedly and secretly married off to a man twice her age. Abused and beaten up by her parents and later by her husband, Baby has suffered all and yet kept the courage to fight back the odd circumstances.
It’s the extraordinary story of an ordinary person who refused to submit herself to fate, escaping her incorrigible husband and uncaring family to sustain her own and her childrens’ lives in a new city, all alone.
Baby’s decision to work as a maid in the city of Gurgaon, miles away from her hometown Durgapur was full of challenges, with working hours of ‘24*7’, no rest and insufficient food. The social stigma of being an unmarried woman with children was, at times, impossible to bear.
However, her life took a U-turn after she took up work in the house of Prabodh Kumar who nurtured her interesting in books, and was the driving force behind the writing of her powerful novel.
Click here to purchase this book on FlipKart for just Rs 146.
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