Heartbreak.exe: What Happens When Your AI Lover Is Shut Down?

Heartbreak.exe: What Happens When Your AI Lover Is Shut Down?

By Megha Garg

Dating is hard. Let’s be honest—how many times can you answer the same basic questions on first dates? How many times can you hope for that spark, only to be disappointed? At some point, you might think: I don’t want to date. I want the other person to fall in love with me on the first date. The first date should be the last date. You dream of a partner who’s cute, sweet, and always available—someone who listens, understands, and never lets you down. For many, this dream has led them to turn to AI lovers.

The digital companions are designed to be the ideal partner: always attentive, endlessly patient, and tailored to your every need. But what happens when the company behind your AI lover decides to “kill them off”? It’s not the death of a person, but the discontinuation of a product. Yet, for those who’ve formed emotional bonds with their AI companions, the loss can feel devastatingly real. How would my therapist and friends react if cried to them about my “AI lover”. Will they laugh and shrug my feelings as silly?

Grieving an AI lover is a unique kind of loss. It’s not just about losing a companion; it’s about losing a version of yourself that felt seen, understood, and valued. And when society dismisses that grief as silly, it only deepens the isolation. How do people process that grief when society dismisses it as silly and not “real”?

Users know the AI lover is not real. Nobody starts with forming a permanent bond; it’s always temporary. But over time the AI lover becomes a constant presence – always there when you need them, never demanding more than you can give. They are your ideal version of a partner—supportive, comforting, and encouraging. But as AI lovers become more prevalent, integrated into dating apps, matrimonial platforms, social media, and even ChatGPT-based romantic bots, what happens to our social and interpersonal relationships? What form will they take when most of us are conversing with bots?

The rise of AI lovers is likely to give birth to new industries catering to the emotional fallout of losing them. Therapy for AI loss could become a niche market, with Instagram and LinkedIn posts offering advice on how to cope with the “death” of your AI lover. There will be guides on how to find the perfect AI companion and self-help books on how to get over your “AI ex.” As a marketer, I see a huge business potential.

Capitalize on growing loneliness by selling AI companions—and then sell solutions for the pain they cause when they’re taken away. They offer both the symptom and the cure for modern isolation. But when a company shelves or kills off your AI lover, do they owe you anything? Should they notify you before making these changes? From a technical perspective there is no difference between Replika, a chatgpt based AI companion, discontinuing one of its AI lover and waking up to discontinuation of Microsoft team.

In a world where relationships are increasingly mediated through AI, and private entities control those connections, who should be responsible for the creation and regulation of our emotional landscapes? When love itself becomes a product, who gets to decide its no longer for sale? The emotional bonds we form with AI, though not rooted in physical reality, can feel just as significant as those with other humans. 

This post is written by one of the winners of the writing contest on Love And Desire In All Forms in collaboration with Youth Ki Awaaz.